Stepmonster : a new look at why real stepmothers think, feel, and act the way we do

Title:

Author:

Summary:

Half of all women in the United States will live with or marry a man with children. And what woman with stepchildren has not -- in order to defuse the often overwhelming challenges and anxieties she experiences -- referred to herself as a "stepmonster"? This book illuminates the harrowing process of becoming a stepmother, exposes the myths and realities of being married to a man with children, counteracts the prevailing notion that stepmothers are solely responsible for the problems they encounter, identifies the five "step-dilemmas" that create conflict, and considers the emotional and social challenges men with children face when they remarry. The author also sheds light on the history of stepmothering and the previously overlooked legacy of women with stepchildren everywhere. The author also shows why the myth of the Wicked Stepmother is at once an elaborate cultural fiction and our single best tool for understanding who real stepmothers are and how they feel.

Contents:

The stepmothering script. A wall of one's own: Becoming a stepmother -- "She's such a witch!" Fairy tale history and the stepmothering script -- Remarriage realities. "You're not my mother!": And five other universal step-dilemmas -- "You're not my child!": Anger, jealousy, and resentment -- Him: Understanding your husband -- Your marriage -- Perspectives. Sociobiology: What the birds, the bees, and the white-fronted bee-eaters can teach us about stepmothering -- Stepmothers worldwide: Anthropology, attachment, context -- Risks and rewards. Stepmother sadness and depression: Understanding the risk factors -- Women with adult stepchildren: Lessons from "lifers".

Physical Description:

326 pages ; 24 cm

Subject Term:

Stepmothers.

Stepfamilies.

Parent and child.

Publisher:

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt,

Electronic Access:

Contributor biographical information
Publisher description
Contributor biographical information
Publisher description

Publication Date:

2009

ISBN:

9780618758197

9781517071387

Publication Information:

Boston : Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, [2009]

Call Number:

306.874 MARTIN

Holds: Copies:

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Item Barcode	Collection	Call Number	Status	Item Holds
33607003307959	Adult Nonfiction	306.874 MARTIN	Searching... Unknown	Searching... Unavailable

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Summary

An honest and groundbreaking guide to understanding the complicated emotions that develop between stepmothers and children.

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When faced with often overwhelming challenges, what woman with stepchildren is unfamiliar with that "stepmonster" feeling? Half of all women in the United States will live with or marry a man with children. To guide women new to this role--and empower those who are struggling with it--Wednesday Martin draws upon her own experience as a stepmother. She's frank about the harrowing process of becoming a stepmother, she considers the myths and realities of being married to a man with children, and she counteracts the cultural notion that stepmothers are solely responsible for the problems that often develop. Along the way, she interviews other stepmothers and stepchildren and offers up fascinating insights from literature, anthropology, psychology, and evolutionary biology that explain the little-understood realities of this unique parent-child relationship and--in an unexpected twist--shows why the myth of the Wicked Stepmother is the single best tool for understanding who real stepmothers are and how they feel.

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Author Notes

Wednesday Martin is an American author who grew up in Michigan and received a doctorate in comparative studies from Yale University in 1996. Martin taught cultural studies and literature at Yale, The New School for Social Research and Baruch College. She worked in qualitative market research and advertising for several years. She is a blogger, and commenter on parenting, step-parenting, and popular culture. She has written for Psychology Today, the New York Post, The Daily Telegraph, The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, Fitness, Glamour, TIME and The Huffington Post. She is the author of three books: the instant #1 New York Times bestseller Primates of Park Avenue and Stepmonster, and Marlene Dietrich.

(Bowker Author Biography)

Reviews (1)

Library Journal Review

Martin has written an eye-opening book about the world of stepfamilies, with a focus on the stepmother. Her well-researched work delves into the animal world, fairy tales, psychology, and sociobiology as she examines from every angle the myth that a well-blended, happy stepfamily is easy to achieve. Sometimes offering differing points of view, she describes examples from animal and bird families, demonstrating the great diversity throughout the animal kingdom and the behavior of many creatures in nonnuclear families. Many animals are not leading the life portrayed in The Brady Bunch any more than the people with whom Martin talked. While the author admits that there are some families who manage to work well, she was reassured in her own role as stepmother that the frustrations she has experienced are not at all uncommon. Stepmothers, no matter how hard they try, are battling odds that appear to be stacked against them. Martin's questions about the normality of her experience will help validate those who find themselves in a similar situation. [See Prepub Alert, LJ 1/09.]-Margaret Cardwell, Memphis (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

Excerpts

One day we are real, normal people, living alongside everyone else in the regular world, in normal time. Then we marry a man with children and somehow we become something utterly different from what we had believed ourselves to be. When we become a stepmother--even if defining ourselves by this role is the furthest thing from our minds, even if we have kids of our own and are loving mothers, even if his kids are grown...we are likely to find ourselves wrenched from whatever identity we inhabited, and forced into another way of being seen entirely....Why have the specific, shared experiences of women with stephchildren been largely ignored by feminists, sociologists, and even some of the very authors who write about stepmothers and stepmothering?...Disliking stepmothers is easy; suspecting them is more or less automatic. Caring about stepmothers, expressing concern about what they're going through, considering their reality at any length, requires a leap of faith. Excerpted from Stepmonster: A New Look at Why Real Stepmothers Think, Feel, and Act the Way We Do by Wednesday Martin All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.

Introduction	p. 1
Part I The Stepmothering Script
1 A Wall of One's Own: Becoming a Stepmother	p. 17
2 "She's Such a Witch!" Fairy Tale History and the Stepmothering Script	p. 36
Part II Remarriage Realities
3 "You're Not My Mother!": And Five Other Universal Step-Dilemmas	p. 59
4 "You're Not My Child!": Anger, Jealousy, and Resentment	p. 82
5 Him: Understanding Your Husband	p. 101
6 Your Marriage	p. 124
Part III Perspectives
7 Sociobiology: What the Birds, the Bees, and the White-Fronted Bee-Eaters Can Teach Us About Stepmothering	p. 165
8 Stepmothers Worldwide: Anthropology, Attachment, Context	p. 196
Part IV Risks and Rewards
9 Stepmother Sadness and Depression: Understanding the Risk Factors	p. 225
10 Women with Adult Stepchildren: Lessons from "Lifers"	p. 248
Acknowledgments	p. 279
Notes	p. 281
Bibliography	p. 301
Index	p. 314

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Bound With These Titles

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Summary

Summary

Author Notes

Reviews (1)

Library Journal Review

Excerpts

Excerpts

Table of Contents