Divorce without court : a guide to mediation & collaborative divorce

Title:

Author:

Stoner, Katherine E., 1947- author.

Summary:

"This book guides the reader through the steps of negotiating a divorce settlement by using mediation or collaborative law. It discusses how to: choose the right negotiation method; maximize opportunities for settlement; get an agreement in writing; find mediators, attorneys, and advisers; and protect one's children. It also provides state court websites, contact information for mediation organizations, and examples of what one can expect in mediation or collaborative divorce."-- Publisher's website.

Edition:

6th edition.

Contents:

The role of mediation and collaborative law in the divorce process -- What happens in mediation -- What happens in a collaborative divorce -- Deciding to mediate or collaborate -- Proposing mediation or collaboration to your spouse -- Finding a mediator -- Finding a collaborative attorney -- Using advisers and doing legal research -- Getting started on information gathering -- Preparing for and making the most of the first session -- Evaluating your progress in mediation or collaborative divorce -- Communicating in mediation or collaborative divorce -- Negotiating in mediation or collaborative divorce -- Court-sponsored mediation -- Encountering difficulties in mediation and collaboration -- Writing up the divorce agreement -- Divorce for same-sex couples -- Women and men in mediation and collaborative divorce -- Unmarried couples in mediation and collaboration -- Mediation and collaboration after divorce.

Physical Description:

465 pages : illustrations ; 23 cm

Genre:

Law for laypersons.

Subject Term:

Divorce mediation.

Collaborative divorce.

Publisher:

Nolo,

Electronic Access:

Access online via Maryland Judiciary network.

Publication Date:

2021

ISBN:

9781413328707

Publication Information:

[Berkeley, California] : Nolo, 2021.

Call Number:

346.73 STONER

Holds: Copies:

Available:*

Item Barcode	Collection	Call Number	Status	Item Holds
33607003528885	Adult Nonfiction	346.73 STONER	Searching... Unknown	Searching... Unavailable

Bound With These Titles

On Order

Summary

Avoid the expense and stress of divorce court

Ending a marriage is always difficult, but you don't have to be financially or emotionally overwhelmed. Through mediation or a collaborative divorce, you can avoid huge legal bills and debilitating conflict with your ex.

This book guides you through all the steps of negotiating a divorce settlement, using mediation or collaborative law.

Encouraging, straightforward, and inspiring, Divorce Without Court explains mediation and collaborative divorce and shows you how to:

choose the right method for your family maximize opportunities for settlement get an agreement in writing find mediators, attorneys, and advisers, and protect your children first, last, and always.

Divorce Without Court provides state court websites, contact information for mediation organizations, and clear examples of what you can expect in mediation or collaborative divorce.

With Downloadable forms : Get more than 20 forms, including mediation agreements, financial worksheets, and a negotiation checklist-- details inside.

Author Notes

Katherine E. Stoner is a superior court commissioner in Monterey County, California, a trainer at the Center for Mediation in Law in Marin County, California, and an adjunct faculty member at Monterey College of Law. For many years prior to this, she was a certified family law specialist, with a focus on family law and mediation. Katherine was a founding member of Collaborative Practice of Monterey County and is a coauthor of Prenuptial Agreements: How to Write a Fair Lasting Contract (Nolo).

Introduction: Divorce Without Court: Your Best Option	p. 1
What Exactly Are Mediation and Collaboration?	p. 2
Why Mediate or Collaborate? Consider the Alternative	p. 5
Divorce Decision Spectrum	p. 7
Mediation or Collaboration: Still a Better Option for Divorcing Same-Sex Couples	p. 8
You've Decided to Mediate: When Do You Start?	p. 10
Divorce Law in Your State: How to Get Accurate Information	p. 10
Getting the Most Out of This Book	p. 11
1 The Role of Mediation and Collaborative Law in the Divorce Process	p. 15
Virtual Divorce: Has the COVID-19 Pandemic Permanently Changed the Process?	p. 17
The Four Divorces	p. 18
Keeping It Simple: The Uncontested Divorce	p. 28
Beyond the Basics: The Contested Divorce	p. 30
Long-Term Effects of a Contested Legal Divorce	p. 41
Mediation and Collaboration: A Different Way to Divorce	p. 41
2 What Happens in Mediation?	p. 43
An Overview of Mediation	p. 44
Introductory Stage	p. 47
Information-Gathering Stage	p. 53
Framing Stage	p. 58
Negotiating Stage	p. 61
Concluding Stage	p. 66
Assessing the Cost of Robert and Fran's Mediation	p. 69
3 What Happens in a Collaborative Divorce?	p. 71
An Overview of Collaborative Divorce	p. 72
Introductory Stage	p. 77
Information-Gathering Stage	p. 83
Framing Stage	p. 86
Negotiating Stage	p. 88
Concluding Stage	p. 91
Assessing the Cost of Cole and Traci's Collaborative Divorce	p. 93
Traci and Cole's Collaborative Divorce Agreement	p. 96
4 Deciding to Mediate or Collaborate	p. 103
Is Mediation or Collaboration Right for You?	p. 104
It Takes Agreement of Both Spouses	p. 117
Comparing Mediation and Collaborative Divorce	p. 117
Making Your Choice Between Mediation and Collaboration	p. 124
5 Proposing Mediation or Collaboration to Your Spouse	p. 127
When to Propose Mediation or Collaborative Divorce	p. 128
Who Should Propose Mediation or Collaboration?	p. 135
How to Propose Mediation or Collaborative Divorce	p. 137
Dos and Don'ts of Proposing Mediation or Collaboration	p. 140
Sample Letter Proposing Mediation	p. 144
Sample Letter Proposing Collaborative Divorce	p. 146
6 Finding a Mediator	p. 149
Do You Need a Local Mediator?	p. 150
Finding the Right Mediator	p. 151
Qualified Mediators: What to Look For	p. 153
Finding the Right Fit	p. 162
Who Provides Mediation Services?	p. 170
Screening and Interviewing Potential Mediators	p. 174
Interviewing and Selecting a Mediator	p. 176
7 Finding a Collaborative Attorney	p. 177
Finding the Right Collaborative Attorney	p. 178
Qualified Attorneys: What to Look For	p. 181
Finding the Right Fit	p. 187
Screening and Interviewing Potential Lawyers	p. 193
Interviewing and Selecting a Collaborative Lawyer	p. 195
8 Using Advisers and Doing Legal Research	p. 197
How and When to Use Advisers in Mediation	p. 199
The Role of Family and Friends in Your Divorce	p. 203
Legal Adviser	p. 204
Counselor	p. 216
Financial Adviser	p. 219
Specialized Advisers	p. 224
Coordinating Your Advisers	p. 227
Finding Answers to Legal Questions: Legal Research Online and Off	p. 227
9 Getting Started on Information Gathering	p. 233
Step One: Remember Vital Statistics	p. 235
Step Two: Assess Your Children's Needs	p. 235
Step Three: Locate and Copy Important Documents	p. 241
Step Four: Inventory Your Assets and Debts	p. 244
Step Five: Summarize Your Income and Make a Budget	p. 252
Step Six: Pause to Reflect	p. 257
10 Preparing for and Making the Most of the First Session	p. 259
Getting Ready	p. 260
Mediator Approaches and Styles	p. 268
Mediator Neutrality and Bias	p. 278
Confidentiality of the Mediation	p. 279
Agreement to Mediate	p. 280
Take Time to Make Notes	p. 281
11 Evaluating Your Progress in Mediation or Collaborative Divorce	p. 289
Evaluating the Decision to Mediate	p. 290
Evaluating the Decision to Use Collaborative Divorce	p. 292
Monitoring Your Progress in Mediation or Collaboration	p. 294
12 Communicating in Mediation or Collaborative Divorce	p. 297
What Is Communication?	p. 298
What Can Go Wrong in Communications?	p. 299
Tips for Good Communication	p. 300
Tips for Communicating About Problems	p. 305
Handling Strong Emotions in Communication	p. 308
13 Negotiating in Mediation or Collaborative Divorce	p. 317
We Negotiate All the Time	p. 319
What Makes for a Successful Negotiation?	p. 320
Prepare for the Negotiation	p. 342
Negotiate Clearly, Firmly, and Respectfully	p. 352
14 Court-Sponsored Mediation	p. 355
Types of Court-Sponsored Mediation Programs	p. 358
How Court-Sponsored Mediation Works	p. 359
Voluntary Mediation: To Try or Not?	p. 361
Mandatory Mediation: Opting Out	p. 363
If You Can't Opt Out of Mandatory Mediation	p. 365
Preparing for Court-Sponsored Mediation	p. 366
Attending the Mediation Session	p. 369
After the Mediation Session	p. 373
15 Encountering Difficulties in Mediation and Collaboration	p. 375
Four-Step Approach to Dealing With Difficulties	p. 377
Discrepancies Between This Book and Your Experience	p. 379
Delays and Disconnects	p. 379
Tantrums and Other "Bad" Behavior	p. 382
Extreme Discomfort in Mediation	p. 383
Impasse: Negotiation Hits a Brick Wall	p. 385
Last-Minute Changes and Demands	p. 389
Dealing With Persistent Problems	p. 390
Leaving Mediation Without Burning Your Bridges	p. 392
Where There's a Will, There's a Way	p. 393
16 Writing Up the Divorce Agreement	p. 395
Interim or Temporary Agreements	p. 397
Partial Agreements	p. 397
Why Put Interim and Partial Agreements in Writing?	p. 398
Writing Up the Final Settlement and Finalizing Your Divorce	p. 400
17 Women and Men in Mediation and Collaborative Divorce	p. 407
Historical Background	p. 408
Gender and Mandatory Mediation	p. 410
Gender and Voluntary Mediation	p. 411
Common Gender-Related Obstacles	p. 411
18 Unmarried Couples in Mediation and Collaboration	p. 419
Untying the Nonmarital Knot: Opportunities and Pitfalls	p. 422
Successful Mediation or Collaborative Separation	p. 426
19 Mediation and Collaboration After Divorce	p. 431
Dealing With Changes in the Divorce Agreement	p. 432
If You Decide to Mediate	p. 433
If You Decide to Collaborate	p. 435
Mediating New Relationship Issues	p. 436
Appendixes
A How to Use the Downloadable Forms on the Nolo Website	p. 443
Editing RTFs	p. 444
List of Forms Available on the Nolo Website	p. 445
Additional Notes on Editing the Downloadable Forms in Divorce Without Court	p. 446
B State Court Websites	p. 447
Index	p. 451

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Bound With These Titles

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Summary

Summary

Author Notes

Table of Contents