| A note to anyone who's here because they loved Tidy the F * ck Up | ix |
| Introduction | xi |
| Chapter 1 Why You Need this Sh * t Now | 1 |
| The right headspace changes everything | 2 |
| You'll have more time to reap the benefits | 4 |
| Living in peace is better than resting in peace | 7 |
| It's not going to get any easier while you keep accumulating crap | 9 |
| You're never going to "get around to it" | 11 |
| You can't die until you clean out your garage | 12 |
| No one has time to deal with your shit | 14 |
| Forget dying-moving really sucks | 16 |
| Grieving is hard enough | 18 |
| Chapter 1 Checklist | 20 |
| Chapter 2 Stop Buying into Your Own Bullsh * t | 23 |
| Your excuses are trash | 24 |
| Which excuse sounds like you? | 26 |
| No, you're not going to need it someday | 26 |
| Dishes are meant to be used, not displayed | 28 |
| You have time to watch bad TV | 30 |
| Guilt is for suckers | 32 |
| Your sanity is more important than the money you spent | 33 |
| There's more than one way to jog a memory | 35 |
| That stuff belonged to the old you | 36 |
| It's not a damn security blanket | 38 |
| There's nothing homey about a house full of junk | 41 |
| You're not the only one who thinks it's a pain in the ass | 42 |
| Relief beats regret every day of the week | 44 |
| "Wasteful" is holding onto shit you don't use | 45 |
| Your color-coordinated storage bins are bullshit | 47 |
| One man's trash is another unrelated man's treasure | 48 |
| You won't miss what you haven't laid eyes on in years | 50 |
| You only think you're happy living this way | 52 |
| Chapter 2 Checklist | 54 |
| Chapter 3 Simplify Your F*cking Life | 57 |
| Decide to go all-in on getting your sh * t together | 58 |
| Imagine creating a space you can't get enough of | 60 |
| A little prep goes a long way | 62 |
| Your time is worth more than your Cabbage Patch Kid | 65 |
| Be smart about who you choose to ask for help | 68 |
| Become a decision-making machine | 69 |
| Draw a line in the sand and stick to it | 71 |
| Use it or lose it applies to more than high-school French | 74 |
| Take a breath-burnout is a bitch | 75 |
| Work backward from the stuff you can't live without | 76 |
| Practice makes perfectly adequate decluttering skills | 78 |
| Memory Lane is a dead-end street | 79 |
| Look into each object's future | 82 |
| Remember what they say about assuming | 84 |
| Rehome the laundry chair | 86 |
| Or use the laundry chair to your advantage | 87 |
| Clothing | 88 |
| Childlike optimism is for children, loving yourself is for adults | 88 |
| Be just as realistic about what you need as what you don't | 89 |
| You have lived too long to own shitty clothing | 90 |
| Ask yourself what it's worth to you | 92 |
| Decor | 93 |
| You shouldn't need a storage unit for seasonal decor | 93 |
| Recognize when you don't even see it anymore | 95 |
| Storage areas | 96 |
| If you can't fit a car in your garage, you have missed the point | 96 |
| Storage units are an expensive cry for help | 98 |
| Random crap | 100 |
| If it doesn't have a home, its home is in the trash | 100 |
| There are no forgotten million-dollar antiques in your attic | 102 |
| You shouldn't be able to supply an Office Depot from your home office | 103 |
| That cold medicine stopped working five years ago | 104 |
| Buying a cookbook and making a recipe are not the same thing | 106 |
| How many fucking screwdrivers do you need? | 107 |
| Don't even think about having a yard sale | 108 |
| When all else fails, bring in the big guns | 110 |
| Realize that perfection is a shitty goal | 111 |
| Chapter 3 Checklist | 113 |
| Chapter 4 Get Your Sh * t Together | 117 |
| Get your affairs in order so your kids don't have to | 118 |
| Ask for help when you need it-just not from your kids | 120 |
| Heirlooms | 122 |
| Approach potential inheritors with the same caution as wild animals | 122 |
| Your kid probably doesn't want your wedding dress | 124 |
| They don't want the antiques either | 125 |
| The good dishes are probably headed for the rage room | 127 |
| Costume jewelry is for tea parties and drag shows | 129 |
| Documents | 131 |
| Clean out your damn computer | 131 |
| Learn the difference between important and unimportant | 132 |
| A pile of papers without labels helps no one | 134 |
| Accounts | 135 |
| Your money goes more places than you do | 135 |
| If you can't remember your passwords, your family's screwed | 136 |
| Burn boxes | 139 |
| Friends don't let friends' loved ones see their browsing history | 139 |
| Some things are only important to you | 142 |
| Final arrangements | 143 |
| Decision time-who gets the autographed baseball? | 143 |
| Your loved ones can't read your fucking mind | 145 |
| Give your kids permission to throw it all out | 147 |
| Clue in anyone who needs to know where you keep the goods | 149 |
| Pass down the stories, not the stuff | 151 |
| Realize that your inbox will never be empty | 152 |
| Chapter 4 Checklist | 154 |
| Chapter 5 Live Your Damn Life (Clutter Free) | 157 |
| Take in all that uncluttered glory | 158 |
| Revel in those benefits you've been working toward | 159 |
| Use some fucking common sense | 161 |
| Make better choices | 162 |
| Remember why you did all this in the first place | 162 |
| Put some mental effort in before you buy sh * t | 163 |
| Look for decluttering opportunities-they're everywhere! | 165 |
| Light a fire under the asses of reluctant family members | 166 |
| Get all the family tea while you can | 168 |
| Fill the rest of your life with experiences, not stuff | 169 |
| Cut yourself some slack once in a while | 171 |
| Live (probably longer) without regret or guilt | 171 |
| Chapter 5 Checklist | 173 |
