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Summary
Summary
A close friendship is one of the most influential and important relationships a human life can contain. Anyone will tell you that! But for all the rosy sentiments surrounding friendship, most people don't talk much about what it really takes to stay close for the long haul.
Now two friends, Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman, tell the story of their equally messy and life-affirming Big Friendship in this honest and hilarious book that chronicles their first decade in one another's lives. As the hosts of the hit podcast Call Your Girlfriend , they've become known for frank and intimate conversations. In this book, they bring that energy to their own friendship -- its joys and its pitfalls.
Aminatou and Ann define Big Friendship as a strong, significant bond that transcends life phases, geographical locations, and emotional shifts. And they should know: the two have had moments of charmed bliss and deep frustration, of profound connection and gut-wrenching alienation. They have weathered life-threatening health scares, getting fired from their dream jobs, and one unfortunate Thanksgiving dinner eaten in a car in a parking lot in Rancho Cucamonga. Through interviews with friends and experts, they have come to understand that their struggles are not unique. And that the most important part of a Big Friendship is making the decision to invest in one another again and again.
An inspiring and entertaining testament to the power of society's most underappreciated relationship, Big Friendship will invite you to think about how your own bonds are formed, challenged, and preserved. It is a call to value your friendships in all of their complexity. Actively choose them. And, sometimes, fight for them.
Author Notes
Aminatou Sow is a writer, interviewer, and cultural commentator. She is a frequent public speaker whose talks and interviews lead to candid conversations about ambition, money, and power. Aminatou lives in Brooklyn.
Ann Friedman is a journalist, essayist, and media entrepreneur. She is a contributing editor to The Gentlewoman . Every Friday, she sends a popular email newsletter. Ann lives in Los Angeles.
Together, Aminatou and Ann host the long-running podcast Call Your Girlfriend . Big Friendship is both Aminatou and Ann's first book. Learn more at BigFriendship.com
Reviews (2)
Publisher's Weekly Review
Sow and Friedman, cohosts of the podcast Call Your Girlfriend, debut with a chatty exploration of the benefits and challenges of female friendship. Sow and Friedman describe "the spark" of their initial meeting at a mutual friend's party in 2009, when they were both in their 20s; how shared projects and an easy, constant flow of communication led to the deeper bond of "chosen family" and the philosophy of "I don't shine if you don't shine." But even as they launched a podcast based on their "Shine Theory," the pair were going through a period marked by miscommunications and the challenges of long-distance and interracial friendships (Sow is black; Friedman is white). Reevaluating the "story of sameness" of their earlier bond, Sow and Friedman enlisted a therapist to help them sort through their issues--not a viable strategy for all, they concede, but an action that reaffirmed their mutual commitment. Though they put their own relationship front and center, the authors incorporate research from social scientists and anecdotes from other people's lives. Readers whose own "big friendships" aren't as inextricable as Sow and Friedman's may balk at their insistence on, say, coordinating outfits (they call it "frog-and-toading"), but this entertaining outing shows young women how they can empower and sustain each other. (July)
Library Journal Review
Sow and Friedman, hosts of the popular podcast Call Your Girlfriend, practice radical honesty in sharing their story of decades-long friendship, in this generation-defining work that is both a memoir of a friendship and a manifesto for a new sociological designation. Only recently has it become common for women and men to openly acknowledge that friendships require the same kinds of care and emotional investment that familial and romantic bonds do. The authors are not the first to declare that friendship is understudied and undervalued, but they may be the first to write about friendship's place in modern life with such engaging prose and accessibly composed research. Each chapter in the book honors either a milestone in their bonding or a key concept in the sociology of friendship. Sections begin with a story about Sow or Friedman's experiences working, living, and loving in cities like Austin, Washington, DC, or Los Angeles, and end with considered discussion of friendship theory and how it pertains to their lives. VERDICT This vital book will be especially useful for young women as they navigate their relationships and the world, but may also be an important read for older women who are reflecting on how they grew up and who they came of age alongside.--Sierra Dickey, Ctr. for New Americans, Northampton, MA